Time has always been an ephemeral thing for me...like a will o the wisp that glides through the mind on a whim and then fades as it goes by without much notice by anyone. This morning I was restless after a 3am trip to the bathroom...so I got up. The night is a philosophical time with no one around, no noise ... just peace. The thoughts began to revolve around a birthday coming up.. number 77.
This one is finally bringing home the realization that life is not forever...at some point it's over and the baton must be past to the next generation. As I pondered all these things this morning... things left undone, relationships that I hope will be mended, plans left to do or finalize... the thought peeped in that I had never considered that my parents and grandparents had had to face the finalization of their lives. Were they happy? Were they regretful? Were they prepared? Were their lives fulfilled?
Somehow our parents and grandparents.. even as we grow older ...are the stabilizing rock of our existence. It never crosses our minds that they have to face the same things we face...and have the same agonies of decision making that we've had to go through. And then suddenly reality hits and the time grows short.
This is my Dad as he is leaving for the Army after being drafted for WWII.. visiting his grandparents before leaving. I knew my great grandfather .. he died when I was in the 5th grade. And the generations continue... with Dad's children and their children and now their children.
I can't say that I am delighted at the prospect of time being limited now that I have recognized it... but it is calming to know that the ones I love will continue long after I'm gone.
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