Saturday, September 02, 2006

Day 9: Questions

Day 9: I take the nicotine patch off when I go to bed, as the instructions say to do. When I got up this morning and made my way in to make coffee, I found that I really wanted to go smoke... so I asked myself... What is there about smoking that makes it feel like an old friend that you miss desperately when they are gone? What is that feeling of loss... like the need for a soft, cozy afghan when one lies down or the arms of a small child around your neck? Because that is exactly what it felt like this morning. It's funny that smoking is as much a psychological need as it is a physical addiction. Even with physical side of it eased, the psychological side finds a way to make itself known. It can't be just the camaraderie of smoking with someone else, because the desire hits when you are alone also. Is it just something to do with your hands..?? Is it a need for that repetitive behavior? Or is there a chemical release with just the idea of smoking that is almost an endorphine induced calm? I have no idea... but I did find that just by asking myself the question, the desire faded.

No comments: